well this is another ramble, don't know if any people will actually read this super long entry but it feels nice to put what im thinking down in words

time sure passes fast- i'm a sophomore in college now. hope the next thing that comes by is an actual job..

it's definitely more interesting this year, majoring in digital media, a lot more artistic freedom whereas last year felt more like a chore to draw because everything had restrictions. know for sure now that i'm definitely not going to be a traditional artist, don't think i have the stamina or the mental capacity to make art that people can overanalyze to hell

and back to the usual question of whether i'll be putting this DA to use. to tell the truth, I'm kinda getting over anime and manga and doing fanart for all that. I pretty much used to be a rabid fangirl for the holy duo of anime namely naruto and bleach (and their pairings of course!!!) but these days it seems kind of wishful thinking because some manga just aren't cut out for romance or any development of relationships and just focus on the endless action and badassery of the characters and their shitty childhoods and it seems the only way they bond is through physical fighting and under the idea that they're gonna die any minute and gotta protect each other. having become a little of a feminist during my first year of college it hella pisses me off these days that most women in these manga are hella useless (sakura being a huge example, she does have upgraded powers from part I but when has that been central to the plot other than killing sasori with that old grandma; another one is Lucy from fairy tail GOD I swear she was created only for the little 12 year old boys to fap to while reading fairy tail but then again almost every woman in fairy tail looks like something out of playboy). u could probably argue that there are plenty of strong women and there are, but for once it'd be nice to see them put in the spotlight other than super berserker kamehameha 14-15 year old teenage boys whos sexuality are sometimes in doubt (IE ICHIGO KUROSAKI, ICHIGO KUROSAKI, ICHIGO KUROSAKI, and ...ICHIGO KUROSAKI?) even though being surrounded by super hot women and are thus fodder for yaoi. another thing that pisses me off about anime/manga these days is like the super duper self deprecation/emoness of its characters. the "I HAVE TO BE STRONG TO PROTECT MY LOVED ONES AND FRIENDS AND IF I CANT IM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN'T DESERVE THEIR LOVE EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES ITS COMPLETELY OUT OF MY POWER AND POTENTIAL TO PROTECT THEM" concept is a noble one but it's so overused that sometimes i wish that their loved ones/friends would just all die just to fuck with the character ( a sentiment that i kept feeling when reading all four books of twilight *shudder* which is unrelated but shares a lot of qualities with anime/manga, I find). and then again, some characters are so noble/one-sided it's just unbelievable (tohru honda from fruits basket, at the end i didnt know whether i wanted to cheer for her or punch her in her shoe sized eyes); I mean, people like that do exist but are quite hard to find and finding them all in some 1337 superhero or exclusive club is ever the more improbable, but maybe that's the entertainment or fantasy aspect of it. And i know most of the anime i've listed are popular/mainstream which probably isn't the top quality of anime out there (popular doesn't mean good quality fyi, look at britney spears's popularity back in the 90's though there are the occasional popular and good stuff) but probably like most of you dear readers i started out reading them because they were popular and they connected to a lot of people. I still read/watch manga/anime day to day but still, it's not too good to look up to it much or even obsess about it. i know im coming at this all sounding superior and shit but it's just my two cents. ill be happy if anybody wants to debate about it and stuff.

as for the douj, i know i left it there for a long time, returned to doing it for a little bit, then went out again. im probably gonna stop drawing it cuz i feel i dont have enough drawing skill (and definitely patience) to convey what i want to happen, but i might write a fanfiction on it (which seems a bit bad to say after what i just wrote about fandom and all) but i kinda feel bad for not finishing it and recreational writing is something i've yet to try (admittedly thats one of the reasons that I'm willing to continue it). so if u got this far into reading this longass rant, if u want it in fan fiction form, post something that doesnt make me feel like a sellout/hypocrite because i dont know whether im a fan anymore or not...

on a side note, HOLY MOtheR OF GOD NEW SAOSIN ALBUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMM COMING SOON great band i recommend their first album especially the songs finding home, you're not alone, and voices as well as chevelle's new album sci fi crimes